A Very Special American Idol Part 2

So, we’re back with night two of A Very Special American Idol.  Folks, let me tell you…the idea of a 2 hour long results show…agonizing for me.  Totally, utterly agonizing.  Once again, thank goodness for the DVR.  So, I fast forwarded through most of the show tonight.  I did catch a few highlights though.  Among them:

Ellen DeGeneres:  I love Ellen…even when she’s doing goofy hosting duties for A Very Special American Idol.

Earth, Wind and Fire – All I can say about them…Philip Bailey has definitely seen better days.

Jack Black – I only caught the tail end of Jack’s performance, but it seemed pretty funny.  I especially liked Paula’s critique of “The School of Rock called and they want their diploma back.”  And then, of course, Seal made a special guest appearance.  I love Seal.

Carrie Underwood – The sight of Carrie Underwood singing “I’ll Stand By You” to African AIDS orphans just seems…well, bizarre to me.  Really bizarre.

The Stars Telling Us How Many Funerals They’ve Attended – So, celebrities apparently don’t go to many funerals.  I guess it’s just not the thing to do when you’re famous.  Maybe it’s just because my family is old…maybe it’s because I’m from the South…but I think I’ve been to more funerals than all of the stars shown combined.  I mean, Julia Roberts has only been to 2 funerals in her ENTIRE life?? Really?  I can think of 10 funerals that I’ve been to…and I know that’s a fairly low number.  I guess I must just like funerals…or something.

Kelly Clarkson – I love Kelly Clarkson.  Can I vote for her to be American Idol again?

Celine Deon and Elvis – I don’t even know where to go with that one.  Shit like that should be illegal.  Elvis Presley really should have some say with whether or not he wants to sing with the French Canadian Waif.  Just disturbing.  Elvis’ estate should be shot for allowing that.  All of them.

Madonna – I applaud Madonna for her work with African AIDS orphans.  Despite what many people may think about her, Madonna was speaking out about the AIDS epidemic LONG before it was fashionable for celebrities to do so…and in a time when it was actually a bit risky to do so.  However, I can’t help but feel that when she hugs that cute little African child, that she’s really thinking “Mmmm…this one will make a nice snack for later.”  I mean, that’s just the look she had on her face.

Annie Lennox – I LOVE Annie Lennox.  (I do say that a lot about a lot of different singers, don’t I?)  I think Annie is amazing.  I’ve had the privilege of seeing her live along with Sting.  Talk about an excited person…definitely one of the highlights of my life so far.

And then, the really big surprise…no one is eliminated this week!  Quite frankly, I’m really glad they did that.  Because, really…how can you eliminate someone on a warm, fuzzy night?  Especially one that has Bono being all warm and fuzzy?

Until next week…

This Week, On a Very Special American Idol…

So, American Idol is giving back this week.  Forgive me while I try to keep my inner cynic from jumping out.  Don’t get me wrong…I think the idea of giving to the poor is admirable and definitely something worthwhile.  However, a Very Special American Idol just seems…insincere?  I don’t know. All of the scenes with Ryan in Africa especially seemed so…well, fake.  I mean, I’m sure that Ryan Seacrest really does care about the plight of the poor African children…only a monster could go there and not care.  But, it seems to me that Ryan has a hard time switching out of Host Mode and into Normal Human Mode.  Who knows?  Maybe that’s the only mode that he has left anymore.  The scenes with Simon at Second Harvest in L.A. on the other hand, moved me to tears.  I kid you not.  Simon seemed genuinely moved…maybe Ryan could take some pointers from him.  Plus, Second Harvest will always have a special place in my heart…I helped to start a Food for Fines program at my former place of work that benefited Second Harvest in my area…and Idol On My Mind reader, Linda the Librarian, continues it today (with some assistance from IOMM reader Queen B).

Anyway, on to the singing.

Chris Richardson – So, Chris’ song choice tonight left me…well, let’s say that it didn’t really impress me all that much.  I thought it was entirely too nasally.  And no matter what Chris thinks, nasally is NOT a singing style.  I didn’t dig it at all.

Randy found it to be great and loved Chris’ fly jacket, Paula thought he was fantastic and Simon, who really seems unnaturally nice this evening, thought he did really well.  I dunno.  Maybe he sounded different in person.

Melinda Doolittle – I have no idea how Faith Hill sang this song, but Melinda…she sang the HELL out of it!  Even though I don’t really like the song itself all that much, I do love Melinda’s vocal.  She sounded amazing!  And she seems to have FINALLY gotten rid of that face…you know which one I’m talking about.  Melinda, I’m still in love with you.

Randy tells Melinda that she’s dope and he just doesn’t know what to say anymore (which doesn’t stop him from babbling on), Paula declares her to be magical and Simon found her performance to be a “vocal master class”.

Blake Lewis - At first, I thought that Blake singing this song was going to be a mistake.  “Imagine” is not a song that’s easy to sing…if only because…well,  John LENNON sang it!  However, I think that Blake did it justice.  (Although I think that the best rendition of this song by a reality TV contestant was Jordis Unga on Rock Star:INXS.)  It wasn’t the most exciting performance…but, considering Blake’s track record, I think that’s a good thing in this case.

Randy wasn’t moved by Blake’s performance, Paula really enjoyed it and Simon found it to be a sincere, if flat, performance.

LaKisha Jones – So, LaKisha’s song tonight?  Well, it sucked when Fantasia sang it.  And it sucked when LaKisha sang it.  Not so much the vocal aspect of it…that was okay.  But the cheese factor is absolutely through the roof with this song.  And not in a good way.  More like a very rotten way.  And, what’s with LaKisha continually choosing former Idol songs?  My love affair with KiKi?  Dead.

Randy liked it, even though he didn’t think it was her best, Paula…umm, Paula rambles all OVER the place (and manages to give MY advice regarding not attempting Whitney or Chaka Khan songs) and manages to not say much at all and Simon also manages to not say a whole lot either.

Phil Stacey – Even though at one point, I SERIOUSLY thought that Phil was going to come through my TV and swallow me whole tonight, I think he sounded really great.  Phil really does seem to have come made a comeback with his vocals…I think tonight’s performance was his best by far.

Randy found the song and vocal to be very nice, Paula declares it to be his best and Simon thought it was good, although he thinks more country in the song would have been better.

Jordin Sparks -  I love, love, LOVE Jordin Sparks. I didn’t think that her performance tonight was one of her best, but it was still good.  I think I’ve said it before, but this bears repeating: Jordin Sparks is the whole package.  She has talent, she has a gorgeous look with an amazing smile and she seems like a genuinely nice girl.  I love her!

Randy found it to be one of the best performances by any contestant EVER! (Randy loves saying that), Paula thought she did a lovely job and Simon the Soft Hearted thought she was fantastic.

So, my guess for who’s going home this week would be Chris or LaKisha.  Maybe Blake.  I think they’ll probably be the bottom three.  But, who knows?  And, who really cares?  At least Sanjaya is gone!

And, be sure to visit Second Harvest’s website.

National Website : http://www.secondharvest.org/

Charlotte, NC Area Website: http://www.secondharvestcharlotte.org/

Second Harvest is a really great charity that does a lot of good all across the country.  There are a number of ways that you can help out Second Harvest…check out their website!

HOORAY!!

Well, the day finally came…little teary-eyed Sanjaya has been sent packing.

Thank goodness!

And I bet Phil wasn’t quite sure how he was feeling…being in the top 3 and all.  I guess the same could be said about LaKisha’s appearance in the bottom 3.

Ahh, I feel better about life now…at least as it relates to American Idol.

Yee-Haw!

Country night. So, it’s that time again, huh? I’ve never been a big fan of country night on American Idol. I guess we’ll see what tonight brings.

So, Martina McBride apparently was the only country star with an album coming out…so, she’s here coaching our Idol hopefuls tonight.

Phil Stacey – Phil sounds okay tonight. I thought the song was a bit boring, but…what the hell do I know? I haven’t listened to country music in years…I’m no judge. Now, if we get some 80’s country music going on…well, I’ll be all over that.

Randy manages to plug himself by reminding us that he actually does something else besides Idol (dude…from an accomplished producer…), Paula finds that Phil sounds best singing country and Simon tells Phil that this is the only time that he’s really sounded good…and managed to show personality. Eh.

Jordin Sparks – Well, I’ll Jordin this…she has BALLS for choosing to sing a song originally done by the vocal coach. After hearing Jordin’s version though, I have no desire to hear Martina’s…I’m sold on Jordin. She sounded great…grafting her soulful vibe to the country sound. I love Jordin. Absolutely love her. I want her to win.

Randy proclaims it to be the bomb, Paula thinks she did a fantastic job and Simon now believes that Jordin could win American Idol. Gee, thanks Simon. Now she’s going to get voted off!

Sanjaya Malakar – First, let’s get this straight – “Something to Talk About” is NOT a country song. Bonnie Raitt falls strictly into the Adult Contemporary category…this song didn’t even appear on ANY country charts. Hell, Bonnie Raitt hasn’t had a song on the country charts since 1980. As a result, Sanjaya should be sent home immediately for being a moron and choosing a non-country song. All of that being said, this performance sucked. It was very flat at the beginning…and didn’t get any better after that. And the do-rag? Sanjaya, it’s not the 1970’s and you are not Rhoda Morgenstern. Freak.

Randy comes straight to the point for once and declares Sanjaya’s performance to be nothing more than karaoke, Paula just tells Sanjaya that he’s lovable and Simon proclaims it to be horrendous. Ryan then attempts to play judge too and Simon puts him in his place…or at least attempts to.

LaKisha Jones – I honestly didn’t expect LaKisha to do well tonight. Divas often have problems on country night. However, LaKisha definitely picked the right song. Although she faltered a bit a the beginning of the chorus, I thin she did an overall bang up job. Of course, I have nothing to compare this performance to, as I generally boycott all things Carrie Underwood.

Randy thinks that she could have made it more gospel-like, Paula agrees (hey judges…this is COUNTRY night, remember?) and Simon doesn’t think that LaKisha and the song went well together. Apparently, LaKisha is supposed to choose songs that are her…but I’m not really sure how she’s supposed to do that with the country genre. She’s NOT country.

Chris Richardson – For some reason, Chris decided to choose a song that apparently has some sort of animal dying throughout the beginning of it. Was I the only one annoyed by that fiddle? I have never heard such an unpleasant noise come from a stringed instrument. Anyway, the dying stringed thing kind of distracted me from Chris’ singing. I guess he was okay. He sounded more ore less like he always does.

Randy wasn’t feeling any emotion from Chris, Paula seemed to agree with Randy…I was distracted by my own thoughts while she was talking…thinking how much I miss the old, incoherent Paula and Simon found Chris to be nasally, tinny and utterly insignificant. (And I really hate that the Chris/Blake photo that I posted last week is fake. )

Melinda Doolittle – I think that Melinda’s vocals were good tonight. However, there was something weird going on with the band…I can’t quite place my finger on it, but they just didn’t…I don’t know. They didn’t sound right to me. Does that make any sense? Anyway, I don’t think it was Melinda’s best performance, but that may have been largely due to the band that was distracting me. Someone in that band was off or something…I’m telling ya.

Randy calls the performance solid and Melinda a pro, Paula says “Way to go!” and Simon calls it fantastic. Simon also compared her to Tina Turner tonight…something that I did two weeks ago. You’re late, Simon.

Blake Lewis – I think this song is a cheat. Because, really, Blake is singing…well, anyone else’s version besides Tim McGraw’s. Maybe he’s going for Bono, maybe he’s going for Ryan Adams. I don’t know. He sounds decent.

Randy blabs on a lot, basically he loves Blake, Paula says package…heh, heh and Simon thought it was okay and then, in the middle of his critique, busts out with condolences to the Virginia Tech victims. Which was very nice of him to do, but very oddly placed.

So, I think the two best tonight were….Jordin and…Phil. Yes, Phil! Country really suits him. As usual, we all know who the worst was…and I seriously doubt that he’ll be going anywhere. My guess for who’s going? Either Chris or LaKisha. Althought, since Phil has been in the bottom 3 for…well, forever it seems like, I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see him go.

Hmmmm…

I realize that, since this is Friday and not an American Idol day, that no one will probably be reading this until next week.  But I just couldn’t wait until next week to share a few things.  First, there is this:

Maybe it’s just me, but Blake and Chris seem a bit TOO comfy with each other here.  I mean, do straight men usually sit together like that?  Is this a new thing that I’m not aware of?  Inquiring minds want to know.

And then, there is my recent epiphany.  Here it is:  Sanjaya must stay.  Yes, you read that right.  He can’t leave…at least not for a few more weeks.  Why, you ask?  Well, it’s like this.  Sanjaya, despite the fact that he is a wretched singer, provides the only real entertainment in this season’s American Idol.  Because, as much as I like Melinda, Jordin and Blake (my hopeful top three), none of them are that entertaining.  Yes, the girls are very nice and Blake always provides us with interesting outfits to discuss…but Sanjaya…he’s the real topic of conversation every week.  Hell, if he goes anytime soon, I’m not sure what I’ll write about on this blog.  Sure, there’s always Phil’s creepiness, LaKisha’s boobies and Melinda’s “Oh-My-Gosh-You-Really-Like-Me” look that she has yet to lose.  But, really, nothing about those things changes much from week to week.  Sanjaya, on the other hand, provides us with fresh freakiness every single week.  And, so, I hope that he stays…just for a little while longer.

Let’s just hope and pray that he doesn’t actually end up winning the damn thing.

Well, There’s Always a Career as a Playmate…

Okay, I REALLY have no idea why the producers of American Idol decided that tonight’s result show needed to be an hour long.  I also have no idea what all they were doing in this hour, as I fast-forwarded directly to the results (thank you DVR gods!).  Although, regrettably, I did accidentally stop in the middle of the group sing.  Bailamos…NOT a song that should be sung by…well, by anyone really.

So, the whole Sanjaya sit up, Sanjaya sit down thing?  Not cute.

Alright, so bottom three this week consists of Phil, Haley and Chris.  No surprises there to me.  Well, okay…maybe I’m a little bit surprised to find Haley there.  I guess the McLegs can only carry her so far.  (har har)  Lucky for all of us, they are carrying her off the AI stage for the final time.

Finally!  This so should have happened like…3 weeks ago.  But, better late than never.

That is all.

Not So Muy Caliente.

So, somehow I completely missed the fact that J. Lo is appearing on American Idol this week.  What rock have I been hiding under?  Oh well.  I tell ya, I’m not sure how I feel about Latin night.  It seems like a mistake to me.  I do very much like J. Lo having everyone sitting at her feet…like they’re all in kindergarten.  How very diva of her.

Melinda Doolittle – So, Melinda…hmmm.  First, let me ask a question:  What is up with Melinda’s ever evolving hair?  Tonight, they have her looking just like someone’s middle aged mother.  What’s that about?  Anyway, I think that Melinda sounds great, as always.  I’m not sure that I’m particularly crazy about the song…but does that even matter anymore?

Randy (have I said how INSANELY tired I am of Randy this season) proclaims it a solid performance, Paula calls her sultry, smooth, subtle, sexy, and beautiful and Simon didn’t like it because he felt she was lacking in personality with the song.  Sadly, I kind of have to agree with him.

LaKisha Jones – Ever so slowly, LaKisha is developing a bit of small personality.  A very small one.  However, her voice generally more than makes up for her lack of personality.  Unfortunately, that was not the case tonight.  I thought she sucked.  She made a firery Latin song just plain boring.  And, apparently she’s taking a cue from Haley and prominently displaying her ample assets.

Randy rambles on about LaKisha having a good time singing, failing to actually mention her singing, Paula (who apparently isn’t high and/or drunk this season) speaks the truth in saying that she wasn’t really feeling it and Simon agrees with Paula, saying that even though LaKisha was having fun, that maybe the people at home weren’t.  I know that I sure wasn’t.

Chris Richardson – Well, Chris proved to us tonight that he’s no Rob Thomas.  I’m not really sure what that means…other than I don’t think he should ever sing this song again.  The whole time, I could only think about how I WISH that Rob Thomas was singing it instead.  Chris’ voice was just not up to this song.  The arrangement was good though.

Randy found it very cool, Paula found it hot and Simon liked him better than Melinda and LaKisha.  I don’t know.  I’m ready for Chris to go.  No love for the Richardson here.

Haley “I’ve Got Legs” Scarnato – Speaking of no love…Haley (along with everyone else so far) is proving to America that only Latin people should sing Latin music.  Being able to open her mouth wide enough to swallow the audience whole does not make up for the fact that she has no spice…no sizzle…no nothing.  Blech.

Randy calls it karaoke, Paula thinks that Haley had fun and Simon talks about Haley’s lack of clothing and tells her the bald-faced truth: the only thing that Haley brings to this competition is her body.  Maybe she can pose for Playboy later.

Phil Stacey – Can someone please tell me how whitebread, creepy serial killer Phil Stacey manages to pull off the best vocal on Latin night?  How?  Granted, that’s not really saying a whole lot…but, still.  I don’t like Phil all that much….mainly because he creeps me out so much.  But he can sing.  It’s a shame that he didn’t pick a better song though.  I thought this song was pretty forgettable when it originally came out.  Unfortunately, Phil hasn’t really added much to it.

Randy found it boring, Paula thinks he turned out a really good vocal and Simon found no originality in the song and can’t get excited about him.  Personally, I don’t think the song is all the exciting period…no matter who is singing.  I’m not sure what Randy was talking about as far as passion goes in the original version…I sure as hell didn’t hear it.  And I just listened to it.  It’s not there…at least not in the vocals.  The guitar playing, maybe.  But not the vocals.

Jordin Sparks – Jordin…I love you.  I really do.  But…the Rhythm?  It just didn’t get me tonight.  Nice try though.

Randy says something about the Yo! Factor, Paula declares her love and Simon isn’t impressed.  I’m with Simon.

Blake Lewis – Blake, in his own odd Blake way, manages to actually give a real performance.  By far, the best of the night.  His voice was strong, his moves were questionable, and his wardrobe was just strange.  But he managed to make the song his own.

Randy proclaims it hot all over, Paula says it captured the essence of Blake and Simon declares it the best performance of the night…which truly isn’t saying a whole lot…but you take what you can get when you can get it on this show.

Sanjaya Malakar- So, Sanjaya decides to try and wow America tonight by singing part of his song in another language…and proving to America that he can grow creepy facial hair.  Ummm…no.  It’s not working.  Not one bit of it.  Sanjaya, I don’t care what language you sing it…sing in Farsi, I don’t care.  I still don’t like you.  And those close-ups?  Just creepy…I don’t care to see the facial hair close up.  I don’t care to see it all.

Randy says it was really good, Paula calls it nice several times and Simon shows a lapse in judgment and declares it to not be horrible.  I swear, if Sanjaya ends up winning this thing, I will never watch this crappy show again.

I don’t know what to say about this week.  The only people that I think are truly safe are Blake and…Sanjaya.  He’s like a cockroach…sadly, not ever nuclear war will rid us of him.  Haley probably should go, but she was all legs…and they’ve kept her in so far.  Could be a shocker week and Melinda or LaKisha could go.  But maybe it will just be Chris.  Oh, who the hell knows anymore?

Blah.

Ummm…is it just me or did Michael Buble seem drunk and/or high on tonight’s result show?  I really love me some Buble…and I’m really glad that he was there instead of Tony Bennett (mainly because I thought that Tony was going to collapse when they showed him the other night.)  I don’t know.  Maybe the Buble was just trying to imitate this season’s crop of Idols by dropping off the ending of words in the song and what not.

Anyway, tonight’s bottom three?  Not really a surprise.  Gina, Phil and Haley.  I’m feeling it.  And the top three…well, of course the lovely divas are there.  Now, the real surprise…okay, not a really BIG surprise…more of a small scale one, it the person kicked off tonight.  Clearly, Haley’s legs are paying off on this show…they must be the only reason that Gina went home this week instead of Haley.  And I’m pretty sure that Haley knows that too.

Of course, the real injustice here is the fact that Howard Stern and his listeners are having undue influence the show this year.  There is absolutely no reason on God’s green Earth that Sanjaya should still be on this show while others are gone.  And that’s all that I have to say about that…for tonight at least.

Sanjaya is SO Not My Papaya…

There is something slightly menacing with the way that Ryan Seacrest declares that one of the contestants is history tomorrow.  I think beneath that calm, goofy, slightly annoying exterior beats the heart of a cold blooded murderer.  Or maybe I’m just feeling my allergy medicine right now.

Anyway, can I make a confession?  I’m finding it really hard to get excited about this season.  I mean, if Sanjaya doesn’t go this week….I don’t even know what I’ll do.  I may start taking hostages.

So, Tony Bennett night, eh?  Well, that’s one that I never saw coming.  Seems a rather odd choice to me.  Don’t get me wrong.  I dig Tony Bennett.  He’s a righteous dude.  But I’m having a hard time imagining this group singing his songs.  Well, I guess I don’t really have to imagine it, now do I?  S

Sigh.

Blake Lewis – Tony seems to think that Blake has the vocals, but that he’s not really understanding “Mack the Knife”.  I think that maybe Tony is reading a bit too much into the song.  Anyway, I must say that Blake truly impressed me this week.  He almost made up for his horrible rendition of 311 singing The Cure from last week.  Almost.  And I must say, that I love Blake’s completely random clothing choices.  He really is an individual.  Like him or not, you gotta give him that.  I say best male vocal of the night…and I’m writing this as I watch it.

Randy liked it, dude, Paula says that Blake personified JAZZ! (but she said it kinda crazy-creepy like) and Simon gives him a 7 out of 10.  When did this become the Olympics, Simon?

Phil Stacey – Tony thinks that Phil is a real good singa’.  Who am I to argue with Tony Bennett?  I’ll give Phil that…he does sound good tonight.  He’s looking extra creepy though.  I think that perhaps he should refrain from smiling when singing.  His smile is slightly menacing.  I’m getting the serial killer vibe from him something crazy tonight, ya’ll.  He sounds good though.

Randy, who appears completely and utterly incapable of saying anything useful and/or remotely interesting babbles on about how he wasn’t feeling, Paula compares Phil to Frank Sinatra (much to nearly everyone’s surprise) and Simon thinks that Phil sounded as joyful as someone singing in a funeral parlor.   Which I think is NOT a coincidence, Simon.

Melinda Doolittle – As always, I love Melinda.  However, I think it’s time for Melinda to stop being surprised about everyone thinking that she can sing.  Get some confidence, girl!  You can freakin’ sing!  As you so wonderfully demonstrated for us tonight.  And you showed us that you can even do it with questionable hair!  I especially loved her brief channelling of Tina Turner near the end there (okay, maybe I was the only one that saw that.)

Randy tells us that Melinda gives everyone a lesson in singing every week, Paula babbles a lot, but manages to call her performance flawless and Simon, even though he didn’t like the first part of her song, loved the last part and thinks that the judges will never be able to criticize her.  Which Simon greatly regrets.

Chris Richardson – Yeah, so last week, in my wrap-up, I forgot that Chris was still on the show.  Oops!  Sorry about that Chris!  So, Chris appears to be combining stage theatrics reminiscent of Michael Jackson (or maybe Justin Timberlake copying MJ) with…well, with bad singing.  I don’t think Chris sounded good at all tonight.  Very…well, pitchy, I guess.  So far, he’s my guess for going home this week.

Randy thinks it’s his best performance of the whole season (making me think that perhaps I really don’t know what pitchy means),  Paula agrees with Randy and Simon also thought it was good.  As a result of all of this praise heaped upon Chris, I have to get my hearing checked.

Jordin Sparks – After last week’s performance, Jordin has no where to go but up.  First, let me say that she looks absolutely adorable tonight.  And, no, I’m not using that as a way of substituting what I think about her singing.  I’m just being nice.  I think her vocals were really good tonight.  Melinda’s performance tonight really set the bar pretty high.  Jordin doesn’t quite make it up that high, but she gets pretty close.  And she proves to us that she certainly can hold a note!

Randy proclaims it to be the bomb and goes extremely ghetto on us for a minute, Paula calls Jordin a “magnet of joy” and Simon thinks that she sounded good, but that she wasn’t quite as good as Chris before her…umm, whatever.

Gina Glocksen – So, yeah.  Totally forgot about Gina until I saw her tonight.  For me, the white girls on the show this year…just forgettable.  Anyway, Gina sings “Smile” and does a very good non-rocker version of it.  Gina, despite me forgetting about her, really has improved over the past few weeks.  I give her the Most Improved Award.

Randy likes it, Paula likes it and Simon doesn’t.  You’re such a party pooper, Simon.

Sanjaya Malakar – Sanjaya’s goal this week is to show America that he actually can sing.  His own words.  Umm..shouldn’t you have shown America that already at this point?  Sanjaya sings in a distractingly white suit tonight and makes a lot of disturbing faces.  Oh, and he also dances with Paula…which just makes him even gayer than he already was…if that’s even possible.  His singing…well, it wasn’t ear splitting or anything.  Ugh, I just don’t like the critter.

Randy says that he can no longer even comment on the vocals (isn’t that what he’s here for?) and calls Sanjaya a great entertainer, Paula gets why people love him (could you explain it to me, Paula?) and Simon just gives up and declares his performance to be incredible.  Because, why bother, really?  It’s not like he’s going anywhere.

Oh, and did anyone else notice the Sanjaya is My Papaya poster in the audience?  What the hell??

Haley Scarnato – Yeah, thought she was gone too.  Clearly, I am no longer paying attention to this show.  So, Haley goes for the sexy, sultry lounge singer thing.  I’m not sure that she really pulls it off though.  She is once again heavily featuring her lovely legs this evening.  This girl is no fool…she knows why she’s getting votes…and it’s not because of her singing.

Randy doesn’t really say anything, Paula gets catty and tells Haley that green is a good color for her and Simon tells her that she has great legs.  I think she’s probably sound good in a studio.  But then, I might too.

LaKisha Jones – LaKisha sings her song in a very old-fashioned kind of way…and I like it!  She manages to show a bit of actual emotion with that magnificent voice too this week.  Keep that up, girlfriend!  (Although, she did kinda miss the note at the end…didn’t she?)

Randy throws out the bomb word again, Paula tells LaKisha that she’s beautiful AND sounds good and Simon calls it sassy and great.

Overall, I think that Tony Bennett was quite good to the Idols this week.  I thought that everyone improved (except for Chris…and, well, maybe I was drunk or something when he sang).  If Haley isn’t saved by her legs this week, I think she’ll be going home.  Although, it could be Phil or even maybe even Gina.

I’ll forgo stating the obvious this week.