I Can’t Help Myself

Once again, another week has arrived, bringing with it another week of American Idol contestants massacring hits.  This week, the contestants are singing…Motown.  Hearing this just makes me cringe.  Not because I’m not a fan of Motown.  I am.  No, the cringing comes from imagining this group of singers trying to sing the classic hits of Motown.  I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be pretty.

And in honor of Motown night, Randy Jackson is sporting not one, but TWO ill-placed soul patches.  Were those there before?  Did I just not notice them?  Anyway, I digress…

First up tonight…

Casey Abrams

Casey, despite his scary rendition of Nirvana last week, is probably one of the only contestants that I’m not worried about tonight.  I feel confident that he can get his growls and screeches under control this week and do some justice to Motown.  Casey’s song selection this week is “I Heard it Through the Grapevine”.  I find his rendition of this song very interesting.  His growl is definitely there, but it’s much more under control this week.  It has hints of Motown about it, but Casey manages to reinvent it just enough to make it his own.  Most importantly, it’s not a boring performance and is a great choice to get the show started.

What the Judges Said: Steven is very impressed and says Casey is “the perfect entertainer” and “beautiful”, J. Lo wonders if there is anyone like Casey out there right now (she decides there isn’t) and Randy calls him a true original and praises him for taking chances.  All in all, it’s a lovefest for Casey tonight (and a well deserved one, I think).

Thia Megia

This seems to be under the impression that she has an uptempo side.  As a result, she’s going to attempt “Heatwave” by Martha and the Vandellas.  As far as I’m concerned, her performance of this song is a disaster.  She looks lost on stage and she doesn’t sound any better than she has previously.  And, despite her waving her arms around a bit, she’s just as boring as ever.  So much for Casey getting the show off to a good start.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo thinks it was nice to see Thia let loose, but needs her to dig deeper and perform more, Randy feels that she can take more vocal chances but is happy that she took some chances and Steven is good with it.  I am not.  I want Thia gone.

Jacob Lusk

I really can’t stand Jacob, but considering his gospel background, I completely expect him to do well on Motown night.  And with his rendition of “You’re All I Need to Get By”, he doesn’t disappoint.  For the first time, I think he actually sounds decent.  I still find him uncomfortable to watch (and he completely lost me with that screech at the end, but I think gospel inspired music is really what he should be singing.  I’d just appreciate it if he was singing it somewhere else.

Clearly, I am in the minority of my opinion of Jacob as the crowd and the judges go wild.  Steven even leaps up on stage and hugs him.

What the Judges Said: Randy is more animated than I ever seen him and declares that NOTHING was wrong with Jacob’s performance, Steven calls him beautiful and J. Lo gushes about begging and being moved.  And then a whole bunch of people come up on stage and hug Jacob.  Oh please.

Lauren Alaina

Lauren’s choice for this evening’s performance is “You Keep Me Hangin’ On”.  She sashays around the stage and throws a very slight country twang into the song.  Her vocals are strong and she does the song justice.  If Carrie Underwood and Kellie Pickler had a baby…well, I think that baby would be a biological aberration.  But it would also bear a strong resemblance to Lauren Alaina.

What the Judges Said: Steven tells Lauren that she ripped that song a new beauty mark and throws out the word “beautiful” again (I love Steven), J. Lo admires Lauren for throwing her head and neck into the song and Randy says a lot of words.

Stefano Langone

Out of all of the Motown songs that he could possibly choose, Stefano goes with Lionel Richie’s “Hello”.  Ugh.  I like Lionel Richie a lot, but “Hello” is one song that I absolutely cannot stand.  I guess Stefano sings it as well as anyone could.  I mean, musically, he sounds ok.  But he is a bit overly dramatic in his motioning.  And, he keeps his eyes closed for at least half of his performance.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo starts off by saying “Let’s talk a little bit.”  No good conversations start off that way.  She tells him that he needs to open his eyes and connect with the audience.  Randy tells him that he can sing, but that there’s no real emotion to his song and Steven tells him his voice is beautiful.

Haley Reinhart

Haley’s rendition of Smokey Robinson’s truly fantastic song, “You’ve Really Got a Hold On Me” is so god-awful horrid that I can’t even describe it in detail here.  From the way she slinked around the stage like a wounded bird to her incessant wailing at the end…it was just all bad.  BAD!

What the Judges Said: Randy says something praise-worthy, Steven calls it…beautiful.  Of course.  And J. Lo says that she may have the most soulful voice of the girls.  Maybe Haley sounds drastically different in person.

Scotty McCreery

Scotty takes a Stevie Wonder’s “For Once in My Life” and makes it sound like it’s coming straight out of the mouth of Randy Travis.  Whether or not is this is a good thing, I’m not entirely sure.  The song is kind of slow, but I have to admit that I enjoy watching Scotty perform.  Not because he’s a good performer really.  But he makes very interesting facial expressions and neck twists.  And I do like his voice.  (It probably also helps that I’m not overly familiar with the song that he’s singing.)

What the Judges Said: Steven, not surprisingly, declares the song beautiful.  J. Lo thinks it was a great version of the song, although she doesn’t think it was his best performance and Randy agrees with J. Lo and praises Scotty for making everything that he sings into a country song (something that he would have been criticized for if he had been on the show a few years ago).

Pia Toscano

I like Pia.  A lot.  I don’t love her, but I like her.  However, I would really like to see her sing something truly fun and upbeat.  Her choice of “All in Love is Fair” by Stevie Wonder is not that. In fact, it….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…oh I’m sorry.  Ummm, did I fall asleep there?  Yeah, I think I did.  Pia’s performance is vocally sound, but it’s a real snoozer.  Not even her long, high note at the end can make up for that.  I think it’s time for Pia to escape the lounge act and find something interesting to sing.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo seems to like Pia’s performance overall, but would like for her to move around the stage more (she didn’t use those words, but that’s totally what she meant), Randy loved her incorporation of falsetto in this performance but is tired of her singing ballads all the time (“You can’t live by ballads alone”.  Word, dawg.)  Steven doesn’t disappoint and, in the end, calls Pia’s performance beautiful.

Paul McDonald

The idea of Paul singing Motown makes me nervous.  And then, hearing that he’s going to be singing “Tracks of My Tears”…well, it makes me even more nervous.  Paul somehow manages to make this song morph into some weird Jason Mraz-David Gray-James Blunt sounding thing.  I have to admit – he DOES make it his own.  It sounds nothing remotely like anything by Smokey Robinson.  So, I guess he has that in his favor.  I don’t know.  It was weird.  And his extremely white teeth are very distracting.

What the Judges Said: Randy says a lot of words that are mostly approving and harps on Paul singing tender, Steven finds everything beautiful tonight.  And J. Lo thinks Paul is a well-rounded, seasoned performer who is the complete package.  Have the judges been toking up backstage this evening?

Naima Adedapo

Naima picks “Dancing in the Streets” as her song this week.  I think that Naima is the contestant that I have been the most disappointed with so far.  In her auditions, I thought she sounded great.  Since the real contest began, however, she has yet to truly impress me.  Her performance tonight I think is probably her best vocal to date.  And her performance was definitely not boring.  Odd, perhaps.  But not boring.  I could have done without the African dancing at the end.  I don’t think it really added anything other than weirdness to her performance.

What the Judges Said: Steven used the word beautiful repeatedly.  Does it really matter what else he said? (If this was a drinking game, I’d be drunk by now.) J. Lo got her first goosebumps of the evening from Naima and Randy…well, I stopped paying attention to Randy, but he liked it.

James Durbin

I’m beginning to realize that I don’t know a lot of Stevie Wonder songs.  James is singing one of those songs that I don’t know tonight – “Living for the City”.  I think James sounds great.  He shows restraint and just throws out his signature howls a few times.  I think James is a natural performer.  He has a real command of the stage – probably more so than any of this year’s other contestants.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo calls him serious business and is left speechless.  Randy thinks he started rough, but thinks that, in the end, James was unbelievable.  And Steven, for the first and only time this evening, does not use the word beautiful.  He does call James great, incredible and perfect, however.  I totally agree, Steven.

All in all, I think tonight was a hot mess.  Which honestly doesn’t surprise me.  Motown night on American Idol frequently is.  I would have to say the bottom three this week will be Haley (once again), Thia and Naima.  Possibly Stefano.

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