This evening’s theme is…Elton John songs!  I freakin’ LOVE Elton John.  I’m afraid of what will happen tonight.  But, then, I generally seem to be afraid of the horror that this group of individuals will unleash upon the world.  Sigh.

Scotty McCreery

Up first tonight is country boy, Scotty McCreery.  Scotty chooses a song called “Country Comfort” – based solely on the fact that it has the word country in the title.  This is one Elton John song that I’ve actually never heard before.  That combined with the fact that Scotty is generally pretty good delays my fear for a brief time.

Scotty actually does a really good job.  He pulls out his traditional country sound that he displays every week and once again makes me wonder how a 17 year old kid winds up with a voice that deep.  Overall, I think it’s a good way to start the show and a respectable vocal.

What the Judges Said: Steven is first up, talks about high heeled cowboy boots and briefly flirts with Scotty’s grandma, who is in the audience.  J. Lo rambles a bit, but informs Scotty that he was good.  Randy lets us know that we have just spent the last few moments in Scotty’s Bar and Restaurant and that this song should be on his album.

Naima Adedapo

Naima picks “I’m Still Standing”…and decides to make it a reggae song.  To be honest, this whole idea seems pretty disastarous to me.  “I’m Still Standing” isn’t a really great performance song and to make it reggae…well, it seems like a…brave choice.  At least it’s different.

Naima surprises me.  I don’t hate it.  At all.  In fact, I think it’s one of her better performances on the show to date.  She sounds good and she made the song her own…in a way that works for me.  Surprisingly.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo begins by declaring her love for Naima….which is never a good start.  She thinks that giving the song a reggae twist was not a good idea, but she still loves Naima.  Randy calls the song corny, but reminds us that Naima isn’t corny at all.  In fact, she has “mad flavor”.  J. Lo then intercedes to remind us that, even though she didn’t like the song, that we must respect Naima’s choice as an artist.  Steven says something vaguely reggae-like and commends Naima for picking a song that fits her.

Paul McDonald

Well, I think it’s quite appropriate that Paul picks “Rocket Man” as his song.  A song that contains the lyric “I’m gonna be as high as a kite” is definitely right for our resident stoner.

Paul just seems to get weirder and weirder with each passing week.  And not in a good way.  This may be his worst performance to date.  I think I’m quite ready for him to go home now.

What the Judges Said: Randy declares Paul’s performance pitchy (because he didn’t use that word enough last week) and thinks that perhaps Paul is holding back on us.  Steven asks Paul if he’s been watering his flower suit and then praises Paul for not always hitting notes.  J. Lo doesn’t really say much of anything and Steven ends the judges session by making angry gorilla noises.

Pia Toscano

Pia is beautiful.  Pia can sing.  However, Pia seems to have an addiction to slow ballads.  Her song choice of “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” only proves this.  Sure, this song does have a slight more uptempo feel to it than song of her other selections.  Still, it’s still very similar in character to everything else that she’s done.  And her voice isn’t distinctive enough to do the same thing over and over again every week.  That being said, I think she sounded great tonight.

What the Judges Said: Steven says that she sounded great and that she should continue singing ballads (that’s more or less what he said).  J. Lo thinks she sounds great, but wants more movement out of Pia (I think that’s more or less it).  Randy thinks she sounded unbelievable.

Stefano Langone

Stefano’s pick for this evening is “Tiny Dancer”.  I am of the opinion that no one besides Elton John should sing this song.  And maybe even only 70′s Elton, at that.  Stefano once again fails to impress me.  He’s not nearly as bad this week as he was last week, but that’s not saying a whole lot.  Stefano should just  drop out of the contest and pursue a career in gay porn.  I think he’d be good at that.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo loves Stefano and says that he really connected with the audience this week.  Randy agrees and praises Stefano for keeping his eyes open for once.  And Steven thinks that Stefano was really good and connected with the audience.

Lauren Alaina

Lauren has grown on me as the show has progressed.  For me, she’s the most interesting and consistently good female on the show this year.  She picks “Candle in the Wind” and gives it a slight country twist.  Her vocals sound good and even though it’s a slow song, I find her compelling to watch.  I don’t know – the kid has just really grown on me.  What can I say?  I like her.

What the Judges Said: Randy thinks it is one of Lauren’s best performances ever, Steven calls her song perfect and unleashes his pervy old guy act on poor Lauren.  And J. Lo calls her amazing.

James Durbin

James reminds me of a big kid.  That has nothing to do with anything.  I just wanted to let everyone know that.

His song choice for Elton John evening is “Saturday Night is Alright for Fighting”.  With choosing this song, James is trying to prove to us that he can be a performer, as well as a singer.  He dances all over the stage, he throws some pyrotechnic action in there and he still manages to sound good.  I heart James.

What the Judges Said: They all love it and have nothing remotely bad to say about James.  As it should be.

Thia Megia

Ugh.  Can I just go to sleep now?  I hate Thia.  And I hate the song “Daniel”.  They’re both extremely boring.  I don’t even have anything else to say about Thia.  I may want her to go home more than anyone else.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo loved it and can’t stop saying how beautiful Thia’s performance was, Randy thinks she sounded good but that it was a safe performance for her and Steven thinks she sang a great Elton John song well.  Blah.  Oh, and Thia may possibly be in love with her brother.

Casey Abrams

Casey’s choice is “Your Song”.  This is a song that I’ve always enjoyed other people singing more than Elton.  My favorite version is actually by Ewan McGregor.

Casey seems to be taking cues from Stefano’s performance from last week and keeps his eyes closed for almost the entire performance.  He also comes dangerously close to a complete growl near the end of the song, but manages to rescue it just in time.  All in all, it’s ok.

What the Judges Said: Randy reminds us all that they saved Casey and that it was a really good choice.  Steven agrees that the judges were amazing when they picked Casey and J. Lo lets us know that she lost no sleep over saving Casey last week.

Jacob Lusk

Jacob sings “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word”.  I’m sorry that I have to hear Jacob sing this song.  I’m even more sorry that I have to WATCH him sing it.  I find his face to be extremely disturbing when he sings…he always looks like he’s either having a stroke or on the verge of eating everything in sight.

What the Judges Said: Steven has been slayed by Jacob, J. Lo talks a lot the producer of the song and loves the song.  Randy talks a lot about finding the “one spot”…and then there is discussion of the “Jacob spot”.  This creates all kinds of icky images in my mind.

Haley Reinhart

I don’t get the whole Haley thing.  Everyone seems to absolutely love her.  She annoys the crap out of me.  I don’t think her singing is all that great and she consistently reminds me of a child in a beauty pageant.  Her take on “Bennie and the Jets” does nothing to change my mind.  She sounds particularly bad when singing the title of the song.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo acts like Haley is the best thing she’s ever heard.  Randy declares that Haley has given the best performance of the night. And Steven, once again in pervy old guy mode, tells Haley that she sings sexy.

I’m so ready for this season to be over.

So, two people are going home this week.  If I had my way, it would be Thia and Jacob.  But, my guess is that Jacob is probably safe.  I think likely candidates are: Naima, Stefano, Thia or possibly Casey.  But, as Ryan likes to remind us, you never know what might happen on Idol!

The bad news of all of this is that next week there will be two eliminations.  This, of course, is really only bad news if Casey somehow winds up being one of those two.  Otherwise, I’m really hoping that Thia and Haley make their long overdue exits.

And in honor of Motown night, Randy Jackson is sporting not one, but TWO ill-placed soul patches.  Were those there before?  Did I just not notice them?  Anyway, I digress…

First up tonight…

Casey Abrams

Casey, despite his scary rendition of Nirvana last week, is probably one of the only contestants that I’m not worried about tonight.  I feel confident that he can get his growls and screeches under control this week and do some justice to Motown.  Casey’s song selection this week is “I Heard it Through the Grapevine”.  I find his rendition of this song very interesting.  His growl is definitely there, but it’s much more under control this week.  It has hints of Motown about it, but Casey manages to reinvent it just enough to make it his own.  Most importantly, it’s not a boring performance and is a great choice to get the show started.

What the Judges Said: Steven is very impressed and says Casey is “the perfect entertainer” and “beautiful”, J. Lo wonders if there is anyone like Casey out there right now (she decides there isn’t) and Randy calls him a true original and praises him for taking chances.  All in all, it’s a lovefest for Casey tonight (and a well deserved one, I think).

Thia Megia

This seems to be under the impression that she has an uptempo side.  As a result, she’s going to attempt “Heatwave” by Martha and the Vandellas.  As far as I’m concerned, her performance of this song is a disaster.  She looks lost on stage and she doesn’t sound any better than she has previously.  And, despite her waving her arms around a bit, she’s just as boring as ever.  So much for Casey getting the show off to a good start.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo thinks it was nice to see Thia let loose, but needs her to dig deeper and perform more, Randy feels that she can take more vocal chances but is happy that she took some chances and Steven is good with it.  I am not.  I want Thia gone.

Jacob Lusk

I really can’t stand Jacob, but considering his gospel background, I completely expect him to do well on Motown night.  And with his rendition of “You’re All I Need to Get By”, he doesn’t disappoint.  For the first time, I think he actually sounds decent.  I still find him uncomfortable to watch (and he completely lost me with that screech at the end, but I think gospel inspired music is really what he should be singing.  I’d just appreciate it if he was singing it somewhere else.

Clearly, I am in the minority of my opinion of Jacob as the crowd and the judges go wild.  Steven even leaps up on stage and hugs him.

What the Judges Said: Randy is more animated than I ever seen him and declares that NOTHING was wrong with Jacob’s performance, Steven calls him beautiful and J. Lo gushes about begging and being moved.  And then a whole bunch of people come up on stage and hug Jacob.  Oh please.

Lauren Alaina

Lauren’s choice for this evening’s performance is “You Keep Me Hangin’ On”.  She sashays around the stage and throws a very slight country twang into the song.  Her vocals are strong and she does the song justice.  If Carrie Underwood and Kellie Pickler had a baby…well, I think that baby would be a biological aberration.  But it would also bear a strong resemblance to Lauren Alaina.

What the Judges Said: Steven tells Lauren that she ripped that song a new beauty mark and throws out the word “beautiful” again (I love Steven), J. Lo admires Lauren for throwing her head and neck into the song and Randy says a lot of words.

Stefano Langone

Out of all of the Motown songs that he could possibly choose, Stefano goes with Lionel Richie’s “Hello”.  Ugh.  I like Lionel Richie a lot, but “Hello” is one song that I absolutely cannot stand.  I guess Stefano sings it as well as anyone could.  I mean, musically, he sounds ok.  But he is a bit overly dramatic in his motioning.  And, he keeps his eyes closed for at least half of his performance.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo starts off by saying “Let’s talk a little bit.”  No good conversations start off that way.  She tells him that he needs to open his eyes and connect with the audience.  Randy tells him that he can sing, but that there’s no real emotion to his song and Steven tells him his voice is beautiful.

Haley Reinhart

Haley’s rendition of Smokey Robinson’s truly fantastic song, “You’ve Really Got a Hold On Me” is so god-awful horrid that I can’t even describe it in detail here.  From the way she slinked around the stage like a wounded bird to her incessant wailing at the end…it was just all bad.  BAD!

What the Judges Said: Randy says something praise-worthy, Steven calls it…beautiful.  Of course.  And J. Lo says that she may have the most soulful voice of the girls.  Maybe Haley sounds drastically different in person.

Scotty McCreery

Scotty takes a Stevie Wonder’s “For Once in My Life” and makes it sound like it’s coming straight out of the mouth of Randy Travis.  Whether or not is this is a good thing, I’m not entirely sure.  The song is kind of slow, but I have to admit that I enjoy watching Scotty perform.  Not because he’s a good performer really.  But he makes very interesting facial expressions and neck twists.  And I do like his voice.  (It probably also helps that I’m not overly familiar with the song that he’s singing.)

What the Judges Said: Steven, not surprisingly, declares the song beautiful.  J. Lo thinks it was a great version of the song, although she doesn’t think it was his best performance and Randy agrees with J. Lo and praises Scotty for making everything that he sings into a country song (something that he would have been criticized for if he had been on the show a few years ago).

Pia Toscano

I like Pia.  A lot.  I don’t love her, but I like her.  However, I would really like to see her sing something truly fun and upbeat.  Her choice of “All in Love is Fair” by Stevie Wonder is not that. In fact, it….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…oh I’m sorry.  Ummm, did I fall asleep there?  Yeah, I think I did.  Pia’s performance is vocally sound, but it’s a real snoozer.  Not even her long, high note at the end can make up for that.  I think it’s time for Pia to escape the lounge act and find something interesting to sing.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo seems to like Pia’s performance overall, but would like for her to move around the stage more (she didn’t use those words, but that’s totally what she meant), Randy loved her incorporation of falsetto in this performance but is tired of her singing ballads all the time (“You can’t live by ballads alone”.  Word, dawg.)  Steven doesn’t disappoint and, in the end, calls Pia’s performance beautiful.

Paul McDonald

The idea of Paul singing Motown makes me nervous.  And then, hearing that he’s going to be singing “Tracks of My Tears”…well, it makes me even more nervous.  Paul somehow manages to make this song morph into some weird Jason Mraz-David Gray-James Blunt sounding thing.  I have to admit – he DOES make it his own.  It sounds nothing remotely like anything by Smokey Robinson.  So, I guess he has that in his favor.  I don’t know.  It was weird.  And his extremely white teeth are very distracting.

What the Judges Said: Randy says a lot of words that are mostly approving and harps on Paul singing tender, Steven finds everything beautiful tonight.  And J. Lo thinks Paul is a well-rounded, seasoned performer who is the complete package.  Have the judges been toking up backstage this evening?

Naima Adedapo

Naima picks “Dancing in the Streets” as her song this week.  I think that Naima is the contestant that I have been the most disappointed with so far.  In her auditions, I thought she sounded great.  Since the real contest began, however, she has yet to truly impress me.  Her performance tonight I think is probably her best vocal to date.  And her performance was definitely not boring.  Odd, perhaps.  But not boring.  I could have done without the African dancing at the end.  I don’t think it really added anything other than weirdness to her performance.

What the Judges Said: Steven used the word beautiful repeatedly.  Does it really matter what else he said? (If this was a drinking game, I’d be drunk by now.) J. Lo got her first goosebumps of the evening from Naima and Randy…well, I stopped paying attention to Randy, but he liked it.

James Durbin

I’m beginning to realize that I don’t know a lot of Stevie Wonder songs.  James is singing one of those songs that I don’t know tonight – “Living for the City”.  I think James sounds great.  He shows restraint and just throws out his signature howls a few times.  I think James is a natural performer.  He has a real command of the stage – probably more so than any of this year’s other contestants.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo calls him serious business and is left speechless.  Randy thinks he started rough, but thinks that, in the end, James was unbelievable.  And Steven, for the first and only time this evening, does not use the word beautiful.  He does call James great, incredible and perfect, however.  I totally agree, Steven.

All in all, I think tonight was a hot mess.  Which honestly doesn’t surprise me.  Motown night on American Idol frequently is.  I would have to say the bottom three this week will be Haley (once again), Thia and Naima.  Possibly Stefano.

Before we move on to the bloodshed…I mean, analysis, I first feel compelled to talk about the new judges.  Overall, I like them.  J. Lo and Steven Tyler have impressed me far more than I thought they would and they are both worlds better than poor Ellen DeGeneres.  However, I find it kind of strange that they are announced and walk out on stage – as though the show was about them.  I have a sneaking suspicion that Jennifer Lopez is behind that.

Well, enough about the judges…on to the contestants!  Tonight’s theme is: Songs from the Year the Contestants Were Born.  I always enjoy this theme…until it starts making me feel really old.  Which it inevitably does.

Naima Adedapo

First up is Naima Adedapo.  Since she was born in 1984, she chooses to do a rendition of Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got to Do With It”.  I have to say that, in Hollywood Week, I was a big fan of Naima.  However, I’ve kind of lost that loving feeling for her since then.  I thought her rendition of “Umbrella” last week was pretty dreadful.  And, to be honest, I wasn’t terribly impressed with her this week either.  I thought she was definitely better than last week…but that’s really not saying much.

What the Judges Said: Steven declared that Naima opened up a can of WHOP DEE DOO on us, praising her grasp of melody and inquiring as to why she’s been raiding his closet.  J. Lo tells it like it is – telling Naima that she is constantly pitchy and that she’s worried about that.  Randy realizes that Naima wasn’t good at all last week and that her vocals were a mess this week.

Paul McDonald

Paul was also born in 1984.  He picks Elton John’s “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues”.  This seems like an odd choice to me.  But, well, Paul is an odd guy.  And he gives us what is quickly becoming a traditional odd Paul performance.  As is becoming his standard, he staggers and hops all over the stage like a wounded animal.  His vocals are pretty awful.  His usual raspiness is amplified by what sounds like him losing his voice.  And, unfortunately, no amount of wounded animal moves is going to cover up the fact that the performance is just boring.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo tells him that he has soul, star quality and that he sounded good.  (Things must REALLY sound different live.) Randy doesn’t give Paul a pass for having a cold and tells him that he was pitchy.  However, he really likes how much Paul made the song his own.  Steven says something about a cool dude in a loose mood and tells Paul that he has a distinctive voice.  Well, THAT he does.

Thia Megia

Good lord, Thia was born in 1995.  That makes me feel SUPER old. She chooses to sing “The Colors of the Wind” by Vanessa Williams.  I thought this was just an okay song when Vanessa sang it.  I feel the same way about Thia’s rendition.  It’s not bad.  But it’s not something I would want to hear again.  And, well, it’s kind of boring.

What the Judges Said: Randy thinks the vocals were ok (and gets booed by the audience…WHAT?) but found himself bored and would like Thia to stop singing ballads.  And, for once, I completely agree with Randy.  Steven, in an attempt to suck up, says that he thinks that she sounded good and wants to know if she thinks that song is who she is.  Does Steven think she thinks she’s Pocahontas?  J. Lo wants her to push out of the box and work on her vibrato.  She also says that she thinks Thia sounded like Adele during auditions.  Has J. Lo ever actually heard Adele??

James Durbin

I was a little unsure about James at first, but I have actually reached the point where I actually look forward to his performances.  I mean, at least he’s generally not boring.  So, James was born in 1989.  Which is good because James is all about the metal, which was big in ’89.  His selection for this evening is Bon Jovi’s I’ll Be There for You.  It seems to me that he actually starts singing a bit too soon, but maybe that was on purpose.  Overall, I liked his performance.  I would liked to have seen him do something slightly more rocking, but he did get a chance to screech a little in this one.

What the Judges Said: Steven warns James about getting to poppy (rather ominously) but says that he was good (and also cusses a bit).  J. Lo found him amazing and LOVES him! And Randy found him slightly pitchy but tells him that he did the song justice and that it was tastefully done.  Steven also declares that James has a “rich vein of inner crazy”, which is a quote that I absolutely love.

Haley Reinhart

It seems to me that girls named Haley on American Idol are destined to suck.  Haley Scarnato was terrible…and I think Haley Reinhart isn’t much better.  I found her version of “Blue” last week to be absolutely horrendous.  This week, Haely, who was born in 1990, decides to tackle a Whitney Houston song.  First, really, the women on this show should just stop trying to do Whitney.  Second, Whitney Houston’s I’m Your Baby Tonight album wasn’t exactly great pop.  It was mediocre album at best.  Haley decides to slaughter the lead track from the album.  Even Whitney Houston singing mediocre pop sounds better than this.  Haley gives us all of her best baby beauty pageant looks – which I wish she would stop doing.  It makes me feel very uncomfortable.  At one point, she sounds like she’s trying to inject some of the caterwauling that she tried to pass off as country singing last week.  Overall, just terrible.  I’m so ready for her to go.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo starts off by telling her she’s beautiful.  This is never a good sign for a contestant.  She then tells her that she looks too tense but that her voice comes naturally.   Ryan then interrupts everything and decides to fix Haley’s makeup.  Randy proceeds to tells us that Haley confuses him and that she needs to find out who she is.  Steven, who undoubtedly wants to bed Haley, wants to hear more blues from Haley.

Stefano Langone

Stefano, who was born in 1989,  is not someone that I really would have chosen for the Top 24.  I personally would have picked Jovany Barreto over him.  But, Stefano’s here, so I guess I must listen to him.  He chooses Simply Red’s “If You Don’t Know Me By Now”.  My first reaction to hearing this is that this song is way too big for him.  I honestly can’t say that he brings anything new or different to the song.  I really would rather have heard him sing some Milli Vanilli.  At least that would have been interesting.

What the Judges Said: Randy proclaims Stefano’s performance to be the best of the night!  Steven found it wonderful and uses the word “famouser”.  And J. Lo believes that Stefano could win the whole thing.  Meh.  I just don’t get the whole Stefano thing.

Pia Toscano

Pia was born in 1988 and she was an absolutely ADORABLE kid!  They show a clip of her singing along to Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” and she’s just so cute!  Ok, enough of that.  So, Pia goes against my standing advice for all female Idol contestants and decides to sing a Whitney Houston song.  At least her birth year gives her an advantage of picking a song from a better album.  She chooses “Where Do Broken Hearts Go”.  Well, its not as bad as I thought it would be.  My biggest issue with it is the super odd musical arrangement for the song.  It’s pretty awful and quite distracting from the vocals.  I can’t say that I particularly like Pia as a singer, but I think she can sing.

What the Judges Said: Steven tells her that she’s the reason the show is called American Idol.  Apparently, her coming was foreseen 10 years ago.  J.Lo is really happy to hear something up tempo from Pia and calls her perfect.  Randy tells her she’s in it to win it and proclaims her a threat to the other contestants.

Scotty McCreery

Scotty graced this world with his presence for the first time in 1993.  We discover that he was a lover of Elvis as a child AND a fat baby.  Uh huh.  Lucky for Scotty, Travis Tritt had a hit in 1993 with “Can I Trust You With My Heart”.  I’ve never heard this song before, but Travis Tritt seems right up Scotty’s ally.  Usually, I like it when contestants try to step outside of their comfort zone on this show.  Scotty has yet to do that though and I’m ok with it.  I honestly am not sure that he could really sing any other kind of music well with that voice of his.  It was made to sing country music.  He sounds like an old-fashioned country singer – the kind that doesn’t exist anymore.  Even though I’m not the biggest fan of country music, his performance is my favorite of the evening so far.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo thinks he’s growing but he needs to push himself even further.  Randy thinks that Scotty did Travis Tritt proud and would also like to see Scotty take more chances.  Steven says “You just keep knowing who you are and you’re going places.  Thank you.”  And that was it.  Thanks, Steven.

Karen Rodriguez

Karen was also born in 1989.  Although, by what she’s wearing, it looks like she thinks she was born in 1969.  This scares me a bit.  I mean, she was born in 1989 and she’s dressed all 60′s retro…is she going to try and sing a B-52′s song?  Luckily, she’s not.  Whew!  No, she’s singing Taylor Dayne’s “Love Will Lead You Back”.  Sadly, nowadays, whenever I hear this song, I only hear Mikalah Gordon’s terrible version.  Lucky for us, Karen is a definite improvement over Mikalah.  Although, I guess that’s not really saying much.  Karen’s version of the song, for me, is just okay.  Not terrible.  Not good.  Just blah.

What the Judges Said: Randy thinks she was better than last week, but still isn’t jumping up and down with her performances.  Steven says something about her ethnic “what-it-isness”.  And J.Lo …I honestly stopped paying attention to what she was saying but the gist of it was good.

Casey Abrams

Casey was born in 1991 to older parents.  As a child of older parents myself, I instantly feel more bonded to him.  I’m also glad to see that he is back from the hospital and isn’t dead.  Because, honestly, I think he’s the best thing about the competition right now.  He takes a risk by doing Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”.  Well…ummm…hmmm…what to say about his performance?  It kind of scared me?  I really enjoyed the soft lead-in.  But, once he started the chorus…that’s when the scary came in.  Although, I have to admit…this is the first time that I’ve ever actually understood the lyrics of this song.  I still love Casey…even if his scary performance sucked a little.  Because, at the end of the day, he really is the only contestant taking risks.  He at least makes it interesting.

What the Judges Said: Steven calls him crazy and talented.  J.Lo thinks that he was too screamy in parts, but loves him so much.  Randy lists all of his musical credentials (just in case we forgot) and loves that, even though it wasn’t Casey’s best vocal, he was fearless.  And, reluctantly, I agree with Randy.  Again.  What is going on here??

Lauren Suddeth

Lauren was born in 1994…which was the year I graduated from high school  In fact, her parents look like they could have gone to high school with me.  Tonight, she’s singing Melissa Etheridge’s “I’m the Only One”.  Lauren does okay, but she doesn’t make me forget Melissa’s version.

What the Judges Said: J. Lo thinks she took it and made it her own.  Randy tells her to have a cold every week because it makes her sound good.  Steven calls her a shining star.

Jacob Lusk

Jacob was born in 1987.  So, naturally, he picks “Alone” by Heart.  My jaw drops when I hear this.  I have absolutely no idea how he will manage to pull this off.  (And I honestly hope that he doesn’t…because I would really like him to go home.) In the end, Jacob completely surprises me by giving a vocal performance that I actually don’t hate.  Watching him sing, however, is a different matter entirely.  His face disturbs me to no end.

What the Judges Said: Randy calls him a genius and uses the word “caress”.  Steven declared Jacob to be the baby of gospel.  (What??) And J. Lo calls him amazing repeatedly.

Overall, I found the night to be pretty boring.  For me, most highlights were brought thanks to Steven Tyler and his completely bizarre use of the English language.  If I was voting, I’d have to go for Scotty and even Casey.  I’m predicting that Karen, Haley and Stefano will be in the bottom 3 this week.

Amanda Overmyer

Amanda screeched more often than not.  And when she wasn’t screeching, she just sounded flat.  Here is her slaughtering one of my favorite rock songs from the 70′s

Tim Urban

Admittedly, there have been worse singers on AI than Tim.  However, he rates near the top of the most boring performers.  In this clip, he does absolutely NO justice to Queen’s Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Antonella Barba

Antonella was a pretty face on Idol and that was about it.  Occasionally, she would hit a decent note, but more often than not, she fell flat.  Luckily for us, we were only subjected to 3 performances before she was voted off.

Mikalah Gordan

This clip speaks for itself and could possibly be the worst performance ever seen on the show.

Kristy Lee Cook

I honestly don’t know what to say about Kristy Lee.  Perhaps my comments from the original airing of this clip will suffice: “Please, America.  Do us all a favor and don’t vote for Kristy Lee this week.”  (Sadly, America didn’t listen to me that week.)

Haley Scarnato

Haley had no talent…that was pretty obvious from the get-go.  What she DID have was legs.  Lots and lots of legs.  They’re the only explanation I have for why she stayed on the show as long as she did.

Camile Velasco

Bad.  Just bad.

Sanjaya Malakar

I have no clue how Sanjaya survived as long as he did on this show.  Somehow, he managed to last another 3 weeks after this horrid performance.  Even Gwen Stefani seems to doubt his talent in this clip.

Kevin Corvais

Kevin Corvais had no business being on this show ever.  I think it was cruel for them to have picked him at all.  This clip just makes me uncomfortable.

Normally, I don’t watch the entire results show because they make me mental.  And I didn’t watch the whole thing this week either.  However, I did catch Adam Lambert’s performance of “Aftermath” and found it quite enjoyable.  That was actually my first time hearing the song.  (It could be playing all over the radio stations these days and I wouldn’t have a clue.)  He is definitely one of my favorite winners of the show.  (Yes, I know that he technically didn’t win, but considering that the last two people left standing on the show are guaranteed contracts, I’d say he won.)

So, considering that the only original judge returning for Season 10 was Randy “Dawg-Dude” Jackson, I was prepared to not watch Idol at all this season.  Because, as anyone who knows me or has ever read this blog before knows, my love for the Dawg-Dude…well, it’s just non-existent.  But, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to give the show another chance.  (Sometimes, I feel like I’m in an abusive relationship with AI…just when I get out, it promises to change and that everything will be alright…and I come back.)  Despite the fact that I was giving the show and its new judges, Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler, another chance, I was absolutely, NOT going to blog.

And then we got to the Top 12 13.

Oh boy.  Wow.

While AI has proclaimed every season to be the most talented season to date,  I was actually starting to believe them this year.  The auditions focused on talented people this year (as opposed to the last few seasons, when auditions seemed to exist solely to make fun of the clueless and untalented).  And the show contained several interesting and truly gifted singers.  Unfortunately, for reasons unknown to me, a number of those singers were left in the dustbins of Idol history and, instead, we got an uneven batch of contestants – a group of talented singers, with a few screeching harpies thrown in.

Of all of the final 13 chosen this year, the most confusing choice for me was Jacob Lusk.  I find the wailing of this guy to be positively unbearable.  There were several much more talented (and definitely less creepy) contestants skipped over in favor of this guy.  Unbelievable.

Also on my list of contestants who really don’t deserve to be here this season: Ashthon Jones, Thia Megia and Haley Reinhart.

My favorites so far are James Durbin, Naima Adedapo and Casey Abrams.

As far as this week goes, I was pleasantly surprised by James’ performance – for once, he didn’t scream his head off.  I think that he has real potential if he can keep that part of his personality under control.  Naima was one of my initial favorites, but I must say that she did drop down a few notches after her horrid performance of Umbrella this week.  Casey seems to have been the most consistent performer of all of them so far.  He hasn’t done anything yet that has made me cringe.  And that’s really saying something.

So, since I didn’t get a proper assessment of the performances up this week until after performance night, I’d like to direct your attention to Michael Slezak’s excellent recap of this week’s episode.  Next week, I should have a proper blog entry up.

Thanks for reading…I can’t believe that I’m doing this again.  But I just can’t help myself!

So, as a result, this blog is shutting down once again. I thought I could do it, but I just can’t. My time, instead, will be spent watching real forms of entertainment…and talking to a certain special someone on the phone. I would, however, like to leave you with this. Ken Tucker of Entertainment Weekly sums it all up quite well.

For all of your Idol needs, I suggest reading Vote for the Worst. It is an excellent blog and worthy of your attention. I do not, however, envy them and their job one teeny, tiny bit.

All of that being said, I am very glad that we move on to Hollywood Week next week. It will be nice to see more of who actually made it through this season – since they have been noticeably absent these past few weeks.

Ok…that is all.